This story features the Sixth, Evening and Thurteenth Doctors
The Doctor sighed in satisfaction as he gazed about him at the exotic display of alien life walking, hopping, slithering and flying past. He grinned hugely.
"Marston's Planetoid, Mel," he announced. "Gateway to the Jexxon Sector. A stopping-off point for all manner of exotic life forms. An amazing mix of cultures and peoples."
Mel's mouth was open slightly. It was an impressive sight, all the different beings crowding the concourse. Even more amazing that the TARDIS had brought them to the right place.
"There's certainly plenty of variety," she commented as they walked away from the TARDIS, into the throng of alien life. A three-foot high creature with six legs and skin that rippled all the colours of the rainbow, and a few more besides, ran past them.
"And for once, your coat isn't the most colourful thing around," she added. The Doctor scowled.
An hour of window shopping later, they arrived at a cafe/bar run by a little alien with big ears.
"Berengi," the Doctor told her. "They seem to have a flair for running drinking establishments."
Mel hadn't realised how hungry she was until their meals arrived. The Doctor had ordered Braxion pancakes with syrup, while Mel quickly started tucking in to her spiced Henks eggs and salad.
"That's an extra half hour on the exercise bike when we get back to the TARDIS," she said around a mouthful of lettuce, nodding towards the Doctor's meal. He just snorted and kept eating.
A little later the Doctor pushed his plate away in satisfaction. "Excellent, as always."
"You've been here before then," asked Mel, finishing her eggs.
The Doctor nodded. "I try to drop in once in a while," he replied. He caught the eye of a waiter, who rippled over to their table.
"A pot of tea, please, and two cups," he ordered. The waiter punched the request into it's pad with a tentacle, nodded it's bald head and left.
The two friends drank their tea in companionable silence. The Doctor reached out to pour a second cup, but Mel shook her head.
"I think I'd prefer something colder, thanks," she said. "I'll go to the bar."
The Doctor nodded, pouring himself a second cup. "Take your time, Mel. I've seen an Alpha Centaurian over there. I've not spoken to one for a couple of lifetimes. Time to catch up on local politics."
"Politics?" Mel scoffed. "You just want to gossip!"
"Gossip? Me? Never!" The Doctor tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. Mel headed for the bar, still smiling.
***
Mel was enjoying her fruit juice, taking in the atmosphere of the bar, when her elbow was jostled, spilling her drink on the bar.
She turned, ready to tear the clumsy oaf off a strip, when she saw it was a young human male, quite handsome too. He was smiling, apologetically.
"I'll so sorry," he said. "Can I get you another, to make up for it?"
"Yes, that would be nice," breathed Mel, flushing slightly.
The young man ordered a fruit juice, a Velgorn ale and a pint of slug juice for his friend.
The three of them all took a sip of their drinks. Mel smiled at the young man and extended her hand. "I'm Mel."
The young man smiled back. "I'm Eric and my hairy friend is called Mong!"
***
Time and space stepped aside courteously and allowed the TARDIS to wheeze and groan it's way into existence in the side corridor.
The Doctor stepped out and sniffed the air experimentally. He grinned.
"Marston's Planetoid, Eric," he announced. "Gateway to the Jexxon Sector."
Eric was starting to suspect this act, especially as there was a bright neon sign across the concourse saying:- Welcome to Marston's Planetoid, The Gateway to the Jexxon Sector.
Eric was impressed however by the wide variety of alien life passing before him. He recognized a party of Draconians, a Chelonian flower stall holder, a couple of Ice Warriors (or Native Martians, as they preferred to be known) and even a Hofthian, like the Doctor's other companion, Mong.
Mong was standing behind Eric, a little too close for comfort, taking in the scene. "Nice place," he commented at length.
Eric nodded. "Mong, did you find the bathroom alright?" he asked the Hofthian, as he could quite clearly smell unwashed mole.
"Yes, thank you friend Eric. My whiskers needed a scrub."
Seemingly oblivious to the smell, the Doctor started off across the concourse.
"Come along you two. Time's a wasting!" he called. Dutifully, Eric and Mong followed.
***
They found the Doctor browsing in a tailor's shop. A powerfully built humanoid approached them.
"Are you looking for something in particular?"
The Doctor nodded. "Yes. Can you make me more waistcoats like this?" So saying he opened his red velvet frock coat to show the black flower patterned waistcoat beneath.
The humanoid smiled. Eric realised it reminded him of a tortoise.
"If I can just take the dimensions, they will be ready shortly. How many does sir require?"
The Doctor thought for a moment. "Better make it three. You never know when one will be ripped while fighting off a Cyberman invasion fleet."
The tailor was measuring the Doctor with his laser tape. He seemed satisfied. "They will be ready in half an hour. Can I deliver them to you?"
"Yes. We'll be dining at the bar opposite."
"Oh, Blark's. A wise choice. I have breakfast there every morning. Now, how would sir like to pay?"
"Galactic Express?"
"That'll do nicely."
***
A short time later, the Doctor pushed away his empty plate, on which had once sat Braxion pancakes in syrup. "Excellent, as always."
Eric was just finishing his Bacon and Mushroom Pizza from the Human Menu, while Mong was enjoying the last of his Jaboran Snails in Sauce, with extra Snails.
"You've eaten here before then," Eric deduced.
The Doctor nodded. "I try to drop in once in a while," he replied. He caught the eye of a waiter, who slithered over to their table.
"A pot of tea, please," he ordered. He raised an inquiring eyebrow at Eric and Mong.
"No, thanks," Eric said. "Mong and I are going to the bar."
"Better make that just the one cup, then," the Doctor told the waiter, who punched the request into it's pad with a claw. The waiter nodded it's shaggy head and left.
"Off you go then," the Doctor said to his companions. "And don't get into any trouble."
"As if," Eric replied as he and Mong left the table.
***
The bar area was crowded. Eric thought he saw a space and moved into it. Unfortunately it was occupied.
The young woman spun round, obviously intent on giving Eric a mouthful for spilling her drink. He decided to defuse the situation quickly.
"I'm so sorry. Can I get you another, to make up for it?"
She smiled. "Yes," she replied, "that would be nice." She was shorter than Eric, apparently human with red curly hair.
Eric nodded. "Fruit juice, please," he said to the bar being. "A Velgorn ale for me and a pint of slug juice for my furry friend."
They enjoyed their drinks in silence for a moment. Then the young woman smiled at Eric and extended her hand.
"I'm Mel."
"I'm Eric," he smiled back. "And my hairy friend is called Mong!"
***
The Doctor was deep in conversation with the hermaphrodite hexapod when a young Berengi arrived at their table, a package under his arm.
"Excuse me," said the Berengi, "are you the Doctor?"
The Doctor had learned caution over the years when asked this question. He looked around quickly before replying.
"Who wants to know?"
The young alien held out the package. "I was asked to deliver this to the Doctor. I was told he would be in Blark's Bar."
"Then I am he," the Doctor announced, smiling. He took the package and the Berengi left quickly.
"I wonder what it can be," the Doctor said, turning the package over.
"It's come from Jarak the Tailor," squeaked his companion, pointing with one clawed hand to the trademark on the wrapping.
The Doctor unwrapped the parcel. Inside were three black waistcoats with a flowered design. He held one up to the light.
"No, no, they aren't me at all. Too drab. There must have been a mistake."
"They look too small to fit you also," the Alpha Centaurian added. The Doctor scowled at this remark.
"Now," he asked the alien. "Where can I find this Jarak?"
***
"...and it was only when I toppled backwards into the fountain that I woke up!"
Mel laughed at Eric's story of his student days. Mong snorted.
"Why did you drink so much if you knew it would have an adverse effect on your metabolism?" asked the Hofthian.
Eric sighed. "Because it was a laugh," he tried to explain. But it was obvious from his expression that Mong just didn't get it.
"I know," said Mel. "Why don't we go and get an ice cream? I saw a stall across the concourse earlier."
"Great idea," Eric replied. He just hoped Mong didn't want to come too. He didn't want to try and explain to the warrior mole the meaning of the term 'gooseberry'.
"I will stay and finish my slug juice," Mong responded, right on cue.
"I had better go and tell..." Mel started to say, when her colourful companion appeared at her side.
"Mel, I have to go and sort out a small problem. Will you be alright for a while?"
"Sure. Eric and I were going to get an ice cream anyway."
"Good, good. I'll see you later." With a nod to Eric, he was gone.
"Right," said Eric. "Ice cream here we come."
***
Sitting quietly in the corner of Blark's Bar, the Doctor finished his third cup of tea. He then looked at the ornate pocket watch he kept in his waistcoat pocket. He tutted and rose to his feet.
He found Mong drinking alone at the bar. Of Eric there was no sign.
"Where's Eric?" he asked.
"Gone for ice cream with a human girl," came the slightly slurred reply.
"Right," the Doctor said absently. "I'm going back to Jarak's. Those waistcoats should have been here by now."
Mong just nodded and ordered another slug juice.
***
"Excuse me, are you the owner of this establishment?"
"Yes, I'm Jarak. What can I do for you, sir? Oh, don't tell me. Someone gave you that jacket as a present and you don't have the heart to tell them. Don't worry, I can fix you up with something stylish and comfortable."
"There is nothing wrong with my jacket!" the Doctor said, outraged.
"Of course there isn't, sir," Jarak replied smoothly, closing his inner eyelids against the glare. "Suits you sir!"
"These are the problem. They were delivered to my table at Blark's." He put the bundle of waistcoats on the counter.
"I'm dreadfully sorry, sir. I know these aren't yours because I served that customer myself. Thank you for returning them promptly."
The Doctor drew himself up to his full height. "Don't mention it," he said, smiling and heading for the door.
A pity, thought Jarak. I could have sold him a much better coat.
***
The Doctor drew himself up to his full height and marched into Jarak's shop. As he entered, he noticed that the shop's other door, leading out onto the other side of the concourse, was just closing.
He approached the counter, where Jarak was waiting for him, smiling.
"I know what you're going to say," the Darcassian tailor announced. "Your waistcoats never arrived."
The Doctor paused, the wind taken out of his sails a little. "You did promise half an hour," he said.
"And they were delivered in half an hour," Jarak replied. The Doctor opened his mouth to protest, but Jarak stopped him. "They were delivered to the wrong person. He has just kindly returned them."
"Oh. Well, if they're ready, I might as well take them now," the Doctor decided.
Jarak started to re-wrap the waistcoats. "You just missed the gentleman," the Darcassian said conversationally. "Nice enough fellow. Shame he hadn't got sir's taste in clothes."
That was when the Doctor remembered. A previous trip to Marston's Planetoid with Mel. A delivery of waistcoats that weren't his. Mel going for an ice cream with a young man. Eric!
"They're fine like that," the Doctor said, snatching the half wrapped waistcoats from the startled tailor and running from the shop. Jarak sighed.
"Young people today. Always in a hurry."
***
The Doctor found Mong still in the bar. He was leaning over at a fifteen-degree angle.
"Mong, where did Eric go?"
"Rice clean!" Mong announced, then burped.
"Yes, but where abouts?"
Mong thought for a long moment. "Cross the mongoose," he slurred.
"What?" The Doctor thought furiously. "Do you mean across the concourse?"
Mong nodded. "Hat's da won."
"Come on, Mong. We're leaving."
"But my drinksh here," protested the Hofthian.
The Doctor scowled. "I think you've had enough slug juice to last you a while, my friend." So saying he helped Mong stagger from the bar.
***
They found Eric and Mel laughing over banana splits.
"Eric," the Doctor said. "Sorry to spoil your fun, but it's time we were going."
Eric and Mel looked disappointed. Mong belched. Loudly.
The Doctor shook his head to clear the ringing noise. "Can you help me with him? He's had too much slug juice."
At that point Mong started singing a Hofthian battle song. Eric raised his eyebrows.
"I'd better go," he said. "They get into the most awful trouble without me."
Mel nodded. "I know what you mean. My friend's the same."
"It's been nice meeting you," Eric said.
"You too," Mel replied. They parted with a sad smile.
"And we'll crush, crush, crush the filthy scum," sang Mong, oblivious to his surroundings as the Doctor and Eric struggled back to the TARDIS with him.
***
The Doctor found Mel sat alone at the ice cream stall. She looked sad.
"Has your friend gone?"
She nodded. "One of his companions got drunk and they had to help him."
"Hmm. Wasn't a Hofthian, by any chance?"
"I think so. Why?"
"I just saw two men helping a singing Hofthian across the concourse. It's not something you see every day. Ready for off, then?"
Mel nodded and the two friends headed for the TARDIS.
***
A few minutes later a blue police box dematerialised from Marston's Planetoid. Within seconds, six feet to the left, a blue police box materialised on Marston's Planetoid.
A woman stepped out, followed by two young people, a boy and a girl, who were obviously related. The woman wore a pale green trouser suit while the teenagers wore t-shirts and jeans.
The woman sniffed the air. "Ah, Marston's Planetoid. Gateway to the Jexxon Sector."
I wonder how she does that, thought David, oblivious to the neon sign just behind them.
"Looks like an interesting place, Doctor," said the girl.
"It is, Claire," the Doctor said. "And I'm interested in shopping!" And, with a flourish of her Galactic Express card, she was off.
